Tired...(physically and mentally)

what a day. or should i say what a night. what a journey. think i had forgotten when was the last time i travelled with that 'wife' of mine. me and her travelled on one of the longest night we had together with each other, and maybe one of the longest journey. after two years of rest, i thought my body could not take it anymore, but the fact is i have been done it. one level up should i say. though it was a relatively quiet night (as it should be), there were a lot of things running through my mind. maybe those were the things that helped me forget the physical exhaustion that i was experiencing. there were times also because of those things, that i nearly fell. lucky i had my 'wife', we were both safe and sound, except my butt hurts, even until now. maybe it was the 'intimate actions' we did the whole night. some said i was too fast and looked so easy throughout the journey, i thought... 'maybe'. maybe i was too on myself. i didn realli focus on others, i should apologise. on the whole it was satisfying and i had a sense of achievement. maybe we should challenge for a longer distance next time.

although with that sense of achievement, those things that were running though my mind last night were still troubling me. maybe those things would keep hunting me until i find solutions for them. some of them sounded insane to me, some, i really had the responsiblity to do my part. and most important, others, **sigh**, i had only myself to blame. really really want to get over it. really really.