I think I'm really alone, deciding a lot of things by myself ever since I graduated and recently found a job. I know I have to do those things myself, but somehow or rather I still feel alone. Maybe I'm used to the kind of life in U. Everyday and night will be in touch my friends, or should I say my best friends. But now, everything since to have changed. I'm all alone working outside, everyday is just work and home. No one really asked me out. Most of my friends having exams now. That's y. Even after exams, they may not find me, they got activities to go, they have their partners to be with after that monsterous exams every sem. Even I go back and find them, I feel very out of click. Things are not the same anymore. The rest will be working.
Afterall, I'm not those kind who people will jio out for outings. I will be the one deciding whether I want to be alone that day or going out. But normally, people I asked will be busy with things. Then I will be alone again. Maybe that's y I dun have gf. I dun even know how to ask a normal friend out. Haiz. Serve me right. When it comes to friends, I just follow people around, because I know they know what they want. I'm just anything when it comes to friends. No temper. Sometimes people ask me only because I'm older and I have been through things before. What a failure, I dun even have someone I can really talk to when I'm down. Right now, I can only write here cause i know every few people will read my blog, or should I say none.
How I wish I have a gf. Of course not bothering her with my problems, at least I can look forward to meeting other than my family. But I'm just a failure. Dun think I can get a wife next time. I think I will happy with my friends are still around me. I just have to blame myself for not fighting for a gf. On 2 occasions I had the chance, maybe 3 going to be, but I chose to back out in order to preserve my friendships. Think it is just me. I think I will just be a loner. Save enough money and go travel around the world and fulfill my dreams. Alone.
Xueyu (the daughter) and me (the father)
group supper trip at blk 85 (1st with me as a chair)
my 1st achievement in cheerleading
the bike frame i most wanted for now (not saying the one i have is not good)
my old "wife" 3 years ago (juz went offroad cycling then)
My family and I at convo
Finally my other "daughter" and Me
1 comment:
Hey, there are sometimes you will feel like you are alone, cos there is just no time for all the rest to meet up together. Imagine having to coordinate a group meeting of 4, it would need a timing to suit all 4, which sometimes it's already pretty hard to achieve that. You have started working also, which reduce the amount of free time you can have too. Everybody is alone in some sense. Certainly you can think of things which you would like to be alone. There's no need to go to such extreme of thinking that your friends wouldn't ask you out. You will never underdstand what exactly others are thinking about, so why assume for others that they won't call you out? And good luck in finding a gf over at your workplace. LOL
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