Tired

Yesterday night was chii and shuxin's bday celebration at this Da Chang Jin hotplate steamboat restaurant with a group of former hall 5 friends. Maybe because of the past few days work and things tieing me down lately, I was feeling quite shag and unfocused. Though I was quite happy with my current work and of course, last night celebration, somehow my life seems to be getting difficult to go on. I dun reaali know what is the reason, but somehow it is not the same as it is used to, but it is definitely not because I came out to work already. I just hope everything will go right soon, and (maybe it is too late now) God give me the strength to go on. Actually I wanted to say something last night or do something before, but in the end I failed. I'm failing, or it is just another coward act. Haiz. I think it is gone again. Shujin has been telling me his things, though I wanted to help him, but somehow I cant even help myself, maybe I'm even worse than him. At least he is more good-looking than me. My daughter (chii) wanted most for her birthday is a handsome looking guy to accompany her, and I sincerely hope she can find one. This is really sincere, for those who knows how I feel.

Alone

I think I'm really alone, deciding a lot of things by myself ever since I graduated and recently found a job. I know I have to do those things myself, but somehow or rather I still feel alone. Maybe I'm used to the kind of life in U. Everyday and night will be in touch my friends, or should I say my best friends. But now, everything since to have changed. I'm all alone working outside, everyday is just work and home. No one really asked me out. Most of my friends having exams now. That's y. Even after exams, they may not find me, they got activities to go, they have their partners to be with after that monsterous exams every sem. Even I go back and find them, I feel very out of click. Things are not the same anymore. The rest will be working.

Afterall, I'm not those kind who people will jio out for outings. I will be the one deciding whether I want to be alone that day or going out. But normally, people I asked will be busy with things. Then I will be alone again. Maybe that's y I dun have gf. I dun even know how to ask a normal friend out. Haiz. Serve me right. When it comes to friends, I just follow people around, because I know they know what they want. I'm just anything when it comes to friends. No temper. Sometimes people ask me only because I'm older and I have been through things before. What a failure, I dun even have someone I can really talk to when I'm down. Right now, I can only write here cause i know every few people will read my blog, or should I say none.

How I wish I have a gf. Of course not bothering her with my problems, at least I can look forward to meeting other than my family. But I'm just a failure. Dun think I can get a wife next time. I think I will happy with my friends are still around me. I just have to blame myself for not fighting for a gf. On 2 occasions I had the chance, maybe 3 going to be, but I chose to back out in order to preserve my friendships. Think it is just me. I think I will just be a loner. Save enough money and go travel around the world and fulfill my dreams. Alone.

First day of work?

Yesh! First day of work tomorrow. Wonder what I will expect. But I will expect anything that comes my way. Wish me luck. Yesh! But no more weekly soccer on Saturday's. Haiz. For the sake of work and family.

The End?

I dunno whether I should continue with this. I hope those involved will realise. It is of no point if we continue like this. If this is to be continued in future, we might as well disband it. People are affected. Some felt left out. Some don't feel it anymore. Some felt it is of no point anymore. Some are waiting for others to do something. What I wanted in the first place is togetherness and let it continue until when it can go. Looks like it is impossible now, unless something is done. But I can't fault anyone. Haiz. Is this the end?

A start...

Hurray for me...finally after half a year of search, I finally got a real job. Although the pay maye a bit low, but at least is something that I like and moreover got attractive allowances, most importantly, nothing beats getting the valuable working experience now. I can be relieved now. At least it helps my mum settles some financial problems for the family. I can start to plan things now, but priority is to keep the job. The boss is the nicest guy I ever came across in the18 companies' interviews I had been through. And I should admit that it was the easiest interview I came across. The boss seems to have decided to hire me even before I went for the interview this morning. Yesh! was the feeling in my heart when he asked me when I can report to work. Hahaha! I finally got a job. I think I will be the most happiest person when we celebrate Jeff's bday tonight. It has been the longest time since I saw my group of best friends in hall. But they should be having a hard time now since exams starts next week. And poor Jeff always has to celebrate his bday around exam's period. But at least this will be the final one. Next year this time he should be working already. Happy Birthday to you Jeff! Best Wishes!!! Good Luck for your exams, and also the rest of you. I will be waiting for all of you in the working world, and I hope we can come together again to start a real business next time, if you all don't mind.