The Choice

This is the critical moment of my life.
This is the moment that I have to make this critical choice.
Actually I have done this morning when I called the company.

When the rest of my fellow batch people got employed in their respective company, I'm right here considering, or should I say considered to do something different from I have done from my past 16 years of education, from the career that I had been considering for the, hmm..., almost 25 years of life, since my birthday is coming on Wednesday. And I have to make this decision at this time of the year. And I know if I go according to my decision, is go to be a hard time for me, when I'm sure the rest of my friends will at least have a stable job.

The burden my mum told me this afternoon that she has been bearing, I wondered how she had been carrying all these years, and it actually made me regreted a bit why did I choose to call the company this morning and decide to choose the harder path, when I think my family seriously need the help I can provide since I graduated in July, especially my mum. I did sob a bit, but I turned away from my mum before my tears dropped.

However, since I made a choice, I think I have to stick with it and go on. My mum did give her consent and I really have to work hard for the 16 years I think I have wasted. I really hope I can do it.

4 in 1 celebration

what a night of celebration. i forgot when was the last time that i got drunk outside and didn drive out. i think i was not dead drunk, just that i made a fool out of myself. actually i just want to let go of things. my fustrations and everything else. it was a friend's birthday, the launch of the first outing of the group, and another 2 celebrations to add in, therefore the worth of the whole celebration. we celebrated at the Ice Cold B's in SMU. The manager treated us very nicely and with the vouchers we had, we really drank a lot. although the gals had really hard times trying to take care the rest of the guys, but we still gave them lots of problems, especially me. haha. sorry. got to apologize. i messed up with a lot of things. haiz. 真是失态... the eldest among the group and acting the worst. actually it was the barcadi 151 at the end that really killed me. i think the rest of the group will also agree. but i dun think i was really dead at the end. i still could remember that i directed my bro out of the city area to ecp when he came to fetch me last night. haha. he was quite lost and told me he dunno how to get out from there. haha. i think i was zhai. haha. but when we got up to ecp, i started to puke. haiz. luckily got those plastic bags that my friend gave me, or else my bro wont know what to do with me. but i had a great time, and i think the rest of the group agrees that they had a great time too. hope we have this kind of time again. thanks everyone.

Suay Day

What a suay day! Got ban sei for the fifth time in this month. Haiz. Dunno what to say. Went to IPPT. Fell on my strongest item. Shuttle run. Failed 2 stations. Actually 1. Chin up. As usual. Didn bother about the 2.4km run. So went off early. Then almost lost my bag. So had to wait for everyone finished their test before the people could help me check the lockers around. In the end, could have went home at 845am. But had to stay til 11am. Partly also because of the sudden rain, that I fell a bit feverish in the afternoon. Haiz. However, it was that moment that my dad asked me a question this morning before going for IPPT, and I really ponder for a long time. Is it worth it that I care and doing so much for people that people maybe just take me for granted? I really don't wish that is happening on me. And I really hope it won't.