Ups and Downs again...

Finally I had been through the most important ceremony in my uni life, my convocation, on wednesday. Though I said that, but a ceremony is just a ceremony. It was just made up of a few speeches and me going up to the red carpeted stage and receiving a empty folder as a form of symbolisation that I received my degree certicate. Yes, it was quite boring, when I should be proud and excited during the 2 hrs something ceremony. I thought most of us were sleeping during the ceremony, though I didn't, trying to give my last 2 hours of attention to the speakers in the Nanyang Audi, as a form of gratitude to the education the university had given me. I realised I didn't really take a lot of photos, around 40 plus. Maybe I don't have many friends, maybe there were other photos in my other friends' cameras. I just had to make do with those I have. Anyway it's over. Hope the rest of my hall friends would have theirs soon, and be proud of themselves when that moment comes.

The convocation also signals the ending of my last few moments in hall 5. Therefore I organised a steamboat yesterday and stayed around the premises the last couple of days. Though I told some of them I will be going for the upcoming camp, but I'm actually still deciding whether should I go. What can I do during the camp? It's meant to be for freshies. I will be just following around. The rest of my friends will be busy managing and keeping the game going. Haiz. Anyway, I hoped they had a good time chilling out last night at the steamboat, with all the laughter I heard next door, because I had to wake up early this morning for an interview in Boon Keng. I apologised for the rudeness since I'm the organiser, I had been coming down with a very serious cough for the past 1 month odd, and I could feel my stamina is going down drastically because of it. I'm like a walking zombie everyday and I don't even dare to go to see doctor about it. And also due to money issues. I'm not sure how many of you out there knows about it but yes, this is what I have been going through the last 1 month odd, going to 2, and accompanied with all the job searching going on, and empty replies after those called up interviews. Not trying to ask for anything, but I feel that I'm becoming more temperamental, maybe because of those things. Too many things until I am lazy to write them out. Actually I write those out, people concerned don't even read them. What's the point? Maybe I should not ask for so much. I should get on with life. Let bygones be bygones. 顺其自然...

Suddenly I want to introduce this nice song...to someone...

林俊杰 - 西界

词:林秋离 曲:林俊杰 专辑:西界

阳光越过窗沿

我在阴影里面

才过正午13点

就漆黑一片

没有人看得见

我心深处的阴暗面

只能眺望东边

你的世界太远

撑到想象的极限

幸福有多甜

可黑夜已吞噬我

就是拉不到你的手

因为我活在西边

只拥有半个白天

一到午后夜色就蔓延

虽然和你面对面

却看不到我的脸

感觉到你不安的视线

在西界的那一边

只能有半个白天

暗自祈祷上天的垂怜

在长夜的边缘

给我一丝光线

让你 能多看我一眼

只能眺望东边

你的世界太远

撑到想象的极限

幸福有多甜

可黑夜已吞噬我

就是拉不到你的手

因为我活在西边

只拥有半个白天

一到午后夜色就蔓延

虽然和你面对面

却看不到我的脸

感觉到你不安的视线

在西界的那一边

只能有半个白天

暗自祈祷上天的垂怜

在长夜的边缘

给我一丝光线

让你 能多看我一眼

因为我活在西边

只拥有半个白天

一到午后夜色就蔓延

虽然和你面对面

看不到我的脸

感觉到你不安的视线

暗自祈祷上天的垂怜

在长夜的边缘

给我一丝光线

让你 能多看我一眼

Saturday Times

What a weekend, or should I say what a Saturday. It was the first time that I joined a eating competition, and to be exact, boneless chicken rice competition, held by the Chinatown Business Association at Kereta Ayer Square. The total number of contestants was around 80, though the target was actually around 300, however it was still quite an experience, as I tested my limit in eating the number of bowls of the rice within ten minutes. 5 was the number, though I should have eaten 1 or 2 more, if I had not eaten lunch earlier. However, it was no use as the winning or should I say the number eaten by 5 of those 40 in the round who qualified was mostly around 8 bowls, even for those in the next and last round. I was stunned actually by an ordinary uncle sitting just beside me during the round that he was eating the 7th bowl when I was just eating the 3rd, and he eventually qualified. And there was an aunty that I thought she was a big liar, when she told me before the competition that she was very full, and she actually ate 8 and a half bowls during the round. Nevertheless, it was a great experience, and hope those friends mine like Weiming, Guangquan and Smauel enjoyed the competition.

After which, I decided to join the seniors of Hall 5 in going through the rehearsal of Fright Nite at the old Commando Camp in Changi. It was the 3rd time during my years in Hall 5 that we had used the site for the purpose. However, I should say it was the best plot compared to the rest of the other 2. And also, I should emphasize that it was the 1st time that I went through the rehearsal as an ordinary senior, not as one of the actors in the plot, as I was always one of those for the last 3 years. Good job Havocers and may your camp be a success!

Sad and sorry...wish for the best

Things have become bad to worse in my family for the past few years, especially my dad. My dad has been having problems with money ever since he was cheated off by his friend a couple of years ago. Since then, he had to start his career all over again, which actually honestly speaking, not contributing much to the family income. He has been working so hard, trying to relieve the burden on my mum, who is actually working her guts out even on her supposely rest days, in order to feed the family and taking care of the house. Alhough not earning much, she has become almost the sole breadwinner for the family. Not saying that that my dad is not doing his part, but things have not been working out smoothly these few years for him. It is worse now that he just sprained his back after a bad fall in the a coffeeshop this afternoon. I took him to see one of his friends who has been a well known sen-sei for many years.

While waiting for him for his treatment, I began to think what an useless son I had been, ever since I graduated from university. I always put up a brave front in front of my friends, saying that I want to enjoy the break before finding a permanent job, acting not in need of money, and leisurely waiting for the replies from the applications on jobstreet.com, but in actual fact, I'm desperate for a job, really really in need, to relieve the workload from my parents. Especially the car, although it is a liability due to the increase in price of petrol that my dad and I always have problems filling it fully, that is my dad's 'rice bowl'. Looking at the pathetic condition my dad was in just now before the treatment, I can't help feeling sorry, and I just felt speechless in front of him. He just could not in a condition to drive a car and had to have a hand pressed at the spot that was hurt. I just could feel the pain he was experiencing, especially now that he is now nearly 60. Though my dad has also provided help in recommending me to his friends, but somehow I always thought doing something that I like and not appreciating the help from him. Thinking up to this stage, I started feeling sad, and frankly speaking, I actually sobed a bit. Tears came down and I decided to walk around for a while, in order to avoid the sudden appearance of my dad after he got his treatment done.

A lot of mixed feelings have been building up in me this couple of months and I seems to be in a lost land. However one thing fo sure, I really want to get a job soon and I hope my dad recovers soon.

I hope that you can be my...

专属天使 by Tank

我不会怪你 对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
怎能让你 为了我被碰伤

小小的手掌 厚厚的温暖
你总能平复我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想 透过你的眼光
我才看见 它原来在前方

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的 专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个 专属天使
我哪里还需要 别的愿望

小小的手掌 大大的力量
我一定也会 像你一样飞翔
你想去的地方 就是我的方向
有我保护 笑容尽管灿烂

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的 专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个 专属天使
我哪里还需要 别的愿望

要不是你出现 我一定还在沉睡
绝望的以为 生命只有黑夜

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的 专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个 专属天使
我哪里还需要 别的愿望

The feeling i have now before going to sleep

原来 by 林俊杰

街灯绊住我眼前
下一步
拉长的影子
嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我会是如何入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

PS: This song is dedicated to someone that I have to apologise.