The first official one...

Haiz...is always the description written on my face that i can always start off my blogs ever since i started them. almost nothing has been the ups of my life and here comes another one. the only thing i can be more relieved about is that at least i finally step out my very first step in going face to face with u. although i know the result way before i ask, but i know that i must at least try, if not i will regret it, since u are going for such a long time.

It has been such a long time ever since i started running away from all these problems, ever since from that so called 'unsincerity' confession on the phone. i have been feeling ultimately inferior in myself since then, especially the way i express myself to others, which really leads me to only taking a fancy of someone i like secretly all these years. i'm not sure whether my friends around me knows it, but there are times that i thought juz stop thinking about it and maybe let it be. i may juz end up alone till the end of my life, considering the way i act when it comes to facing relationships. i'm saying all these not because i wanted some care and concern, but i juz wanted to let it out from deep within me. after all, it is my first official one, if i say i'm ok, i will be lying to everyone around me. i dun want anyone to worry about me, nor sudden care and concern from u guys. i will be alright!!! and may u enjoy your trip! we are still friends though. as for the rest of u, maybe can still ask me out for a drink or something, haha, of course not about this. but it has to be my treat.

The art of tolerance

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空，that's what I'm thinking these few weeks, especially since I started working at this site where “鸟不生蛋”. I'm getting less agitated, although more nonsense are spouting out from my main contractor. Haiz. What to do? Anyway it is not only just from the main con, it is just another phase of life which I think I have to go through, especially I'm starting to support my family. Long story again and that's why I don't feel like getting a girlfriend. I dun want to her to be drag into this. My way of thinking again. Loneliness will follow me at least for these few years.

Some thoughts...

Its' been quite some time since I blogged, and here I am. Many things had happened these couple of months. Not talking about New Year, or Chinese New Year or Valentine's though, there are more serious things that worth my concerns.

I'm finally confirmed in the company though there are still rooms for improvement about my performance. Lots of my friends are concerned for me being in this small company, thinking that this may just be burying my talents, which I think otherwise. I have to make it big through this, so that I can make people recognise my worth practically by my actions, not just by talking or just submitting on a piece of paper. I have been through that many of interviews, not saying that I know the thoughts of the interviewers, but I know I'm not the kind who like to boast around my abilities, so I have to work doubly-hard to show my worth.

Being out in the working world all this while, I realise how things can be unpredictable, that can happen on even the friends around me. I'm not trying make a stand here, nor I'm trying to change the minds of my friends who are involved, is just that I can't believe things can happen so fast. I'm not at the scene so I'm not on any stand to comment. Hopefully everything will be fine.